Letting Him Go/Grow

A friend posted this on facebook and I had to share it here so I can look back at this one day...and remember how it felt! "I wonder what you're doing and if everyone is treating you kind. I hope there is a special person, a nice friend that you can find. I wonder if your teacher knows just how special you are to me. And if that brightness of your heart is something she can see. I wonder if you are thinking about me and if you need a hug. I already miss the sound of your voice and how you give my leg a tug. I wonder if you could possibly understand how hard it is for me to let you grow. On this day know that my heart breaks; for this is the first step in letting my baby go." For some strange reason, Week 2 has been a harder week for me with Jackson in Kindergarten. Starting on Monday, the school no longer let us walk our children back to their classrooms. "Why?" I wondered at first and then I told Cody, "This is good. And I understand. It's good Jackson's being forced into becoming a bit more independent." So, on Monday, I walked him in the front doors, and in front of me was a barrier/rope to kindly remind parents to say their goodbyes in the Foyer. I leaned down, kissed Jackson, told him I loved him, he smiled up at me, waved and then walked forward and around the corner out of my sight. No problem for him... What I didn't expect was the wave of emotions that would come over me when I turned around and walked out of the front doors of the school. I got choked up. (Uh...I think the independence step is for ME! It's good I'M being forced into it!!) Back at the car, I thought, my only baby has grown up! Have I cherished all the moments enough?? Have I hugged him enough?? Did I teach him how to treat others and include others at play?? Did I teach him how to respect his teacher?? Does he know how to open his yogurt on his own?? What if he gets lost going to his class?? Does he know not to talk to strangers?? But, most importantly, does he remember that GOD IS WITH HIM EVERY STEP OF THE WAY?? And, I was reminded that God is with me every step of the way...He's here to comfort me and give me the peace I need throughout the day to know that Jackson will be fine...and so will I.